The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
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