dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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