capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I didn't notice because vodka
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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