Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
