big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
