If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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