Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
