she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
