And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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