I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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