omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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