Do you still have your period?
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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