I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
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