Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
