I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
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