Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
