guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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