what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Randomize
