I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
