Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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