it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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