Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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