I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Randomize
