he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
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