I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Randomize
