nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
We don't watch enough power rangers
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
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