I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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