I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
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