how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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