Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
