...so i touched it.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Randomize
