you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Randomize
