i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Randomize
