I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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