I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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