Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
