Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
