I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
