I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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