I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
