mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Everything about him screamed your future.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
