i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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