My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
