He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
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