If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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