My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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