I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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