In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
the liver wants what the liver wants
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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