I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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