am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
you had me at cake vodka
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
