Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Randomize
