he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
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So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
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We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
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