I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize