16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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