Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize
