so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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