real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
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I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
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Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
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