You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize