I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
