I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Randomize
