He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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