i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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