Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
