There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
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Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
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Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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