my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
